Those that know me know that I am fairly introverted and a bit anxious at times. What I don’t let show as much is my struggles with depression. There have been times when I have considered what the world would be like without me and thought it might be better because of it. I’ve felt like giving up. Luckily I have a good support system to fall back on when I need it. However, I admit there are times when I don’t always use that support system because I am either too ashamed to admit I need it or feel like no one would care to hear about it. During those times I fortunately developed a creative coping mechanism in the form of writing poetry and stories. My writing really became regular in 2005 and in 2012 I published a poetry book called An Attempt to Fill the Void. The title can be taken literal. The picture of a black hole on the cover is intentional. There were days…weeks…months…years when I felt like my depression was a black hole sucking in every glimmer of happiness around me. I felt broken like my existence was a cosmic error. Anxiety is the biggest struggle I still currently deal with. Another thing that has helped me is studying psychology and learning how to try to reframe certain things. The biggest thing that I have learned is that I am not alone. I’ve known many others that struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, and other mental illnesses. Some of them have lost the battle.
Jared Padalecki has started speaking out about mental illnesses. Jared plays Sam Winchester in the TV show Supernatural and is one of my favorite actors. If Bad Blood Rising was getting a film or a series, my dream cast choice for Vangetsu would be Jared. When I saw that Jared had joined Facebook and was launching a t-shirt campaign with the message to, “Always Keep Fighting” I had to find out what it was about and promptly ordered a t-shirt which is still available here. After researching To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) I found that it was an organization that helped with a cause that I am passionate about as well because it hits so close to home. I ordered the movie starring Kat Dennings from the TWLOHA website that chronicles the struggle of Renee Yohe who inspired and helped to found TWLOHA. If you can, I encourage you find a way to donate in your own way. The battle is real. Always keep fighting and remember you are not alone.
I want to get An Attempt to Fill the Void to as many people as possible in hopes that it can be inspirational or relatable to anyone else that may be struggling to fill some kind void in their own lives. Download it here. Also, I am making it available to freely download through my social media pages. There is currently a Goodreads giveaway going on for paperback copies as well. Amazon will not let me make it permanently free but I went ahead and set to a free promotion running from 3-14-2015 to 3-18-2015. After that, any proceeds that I get from the digital book or the paperback book I will donate directly to TWLOHA.
I now have a Tumblr account as well. Click here
The link to a new short story is below: